Resa’s Pieces

It’s pretty easy. No magic spells or potions. You don’t even really have to try. All you have to do is get older, and that can be liberating.

“What a pleasant life could be had in this world, by a handsome, sensible old lady of good fortune, blessed with a sound constitution and a firm will.” This quote is not from Jane Austen as often thought. All quotes seem to be attributed to her or Mark Twain or the Bible. It comes from the English author Stella Gibbons who disliked being compared to Austen. Yet, Cold Comfort Farm (1932) could be said to parody Austen’s work. It is about an intelligent, young woman, with the help of the family matriarch, who brings her downtrodden rural relatives into a comfortable, and supposedly, happier life in the twentieth century.

If you’re too busy right now to order the book from Amazon, I understand. Life is hectic. You can watch the delightful movie of the novel made in 1995. It’s probably being streamed somewhere on some platform. That’s why God created the internet.

As a mature woman, you realize at some point, you are being treated differently. It might be around your 40th birthday, but by the time you hit your 50th, it really “hits” you. Someone might call you “Mam,” or you notice men of all ages ignore you to focus on your younger daughters, cousins, nieces standing next to you.

Don’t despair. There are many advantages to being invisible. You just need the “sound constitution” and “firm will” or a “You be you!” attitude. That’s not from an Austen novel. I hear the younger women of my family say it, but I think it applies to being a happy, mature woman.

You’ve probably heard of the Red Hat Society for women over 50. It comes from the clever poem, “Warning,” by Jenny Joseph. She wrote it when she was 29 looking forward to the time when she could do what she wanted, wear what she wanted (purple and red), say what she wanted.

No matter where you find friends—work, classes, churches, book clubs, volunteer groups, women of our age group are the best support system. With a few gray hairs comes a lot of wisdom. We’ve been there, seen it, done it, and bought the t-shirt. We are never “invisible” to each other.